Get yer copy of Echo!

What the ungroomed scrotum is happening, all my fellow imagineers who’ve contemplated the idea of being shrunk down and stranded on a desolate stretch of ballskin where everything stinks; where a forest of tough, wiry fibers stretches endlessly onward for as far as the eye can see, and where monsters (crabs) roam the wrinkled, puckered earth like the inhabitants of an apocalyptic hellscape?  This is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo!  (And to leave a positive review for it as well!  🙂 )  For those of you who have reservations about reading Echo (due to the possibility it might be a yarn about a loathsome scrotum) have no fear!  Echo isn’t about some pulsating, cat-brain-like appendage which houses a bodily fluid we dream of secretly splashing on to our enemies’ food and drink—no way dude!  Echo’s all about angry super-soldiers, dark socioeconomic commentary, robo-beast monsters, and beautiful future wizards!  Also, if you’ve read any of my work, please remember to leave a positive review for it on Amazon.  It only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to do it; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means).  To give you an idea of how smooth-balls amazing positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this:  you’ve been shrunken down and trapped on that evil scrotum I just referenced.  After long months of brutal travel through the Smegma Swamps, a trek that would make Frodo’s journey look like a walk in the park, evil crabs have forced you to flee from one of the more habitable wrinkles and now have you cornered on a quivering whitehead.  If this disgusting peak happens to erupt while you’re on it, there’s no doubt you’ll perish in a river of Gross.  This evil world hasn’t given you a good night’s sleep for months on end and it’s harried you with countless trials—dark bags hang from your haunted eyes, your face is marked with streaks of grime, and your clothes have been reduced to ragged tatters.  The crabs close in on you, chittering and clacking in their horrid, questioning voices, when suddenly you feel something scratching your belly; oh shnikes!  It’s an unused match that’s gone unnoticed for months, lodged in the folds of your shirt!  You strike it against a nail and give the monsters a hard grin.  In a Batman-worthy voice, you rasp:

“Burn in hell.”

Then you flick the match toward them and the Pubic Forest bursts into flames.  The earth begins quaking, and in the midst of screaming monsters and burning hair, you leap off the scrotal wasteland as it erupts behind you, issuing a slow-motion, 1980s action-movie flame-jump-scream:  “RUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”  Then you expand back to your regular size before hitting the ground.  YES!  See that rush of exultation you’d feel at having narrowly escaped the atrocious reaches of some rando dude’s unwashed sack is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon!  So do your favorite indie author (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne an impeccably groomed favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons!  Thank you all and have a Good and Chill Night!!!  🙂 🙂 😀

Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle  Vol. 3 on Kindle here:  Vol. 3 on Kindle  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here:  Combined Edition  Echo is now available in paperback:  Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined edition in paperback #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s