“Thanks for saving my life, Taylor Swift!” I gasp, clutching her forearm as she hauls me out of my school’s Gorthanki Pit (every university has one in their business department; once a student is near graduating, said student get dipped into the Pit and their remaining hopes and dreams become tainted with rot, slowly withering into vestigial remnants which give off the same psychic odor as a centenarian’s unwashed gunt at a Las Vegas strip show).
“No problem, Man Whore and prolific author Kent Wayne,” she grunts as she hoists me up, copping a feel on my shapely buttocks. “Let’s get you out of here before they chop your hog down to the minuscule tininess they force on all accounting grads.”
I picture a withered, stunted mushroom cap with a sad face emoji drawn on top it, and suppress a shudder. “Let’s,” I agree. But before we can escape the College of Business’s psychic torture dungeon, maniacal laughter sounds through our minds. Taylor drops to her knees, clutching her ears and gritting her teeth.
“I can’t…” a horrendous moan rips from her mouth. “NYAAAAAHHH!!!!”
Her head vibrates in an ultrafast quiver, then explodes into a giant shower of brain-speckled fragments. I wipe my eyes, stunned and sickened, when my accounting professor—Professor Snerdbert—walks into the chamber. Dim torchlight reflects off the crimson-sheened robes of his assassin-apprentices, who are all members of the local accountancy club (who the eff forms a CLUB for accountants??? )
“Thought you could get out of here and keep your oafishly big genitals, eh, Kent?” He shakes his head, chuckling smugly. “You fucking idiot.”
His assassin-apprentices rush forward, and I’m immediately drawn into a wild exchange of strikes and traps.
I judo-flip one of the goons into another. They both scream as they tumble into the depths of the Gorthanki Pit. I straighten up and donkey-kick a third one in the knee. I finish the last one off with a Ryu-inspired shouryuken-uppercut.
“TAYLOR!” As I touch the ground I square up with Snerdbert. My fists are clenched by my sides; heavy pants cause my chest to rise and fall like stressed-out bellows.
He flips his hand dismissively, and begins pacing to the right. “I’ve seen your playlist, Kent—you harbor an affinity for plenty of other pop stars.”
“1984 was a masterpiece!” I spit. “You had no right!”
He stops pacing. “Enough of your inanity. Time for your genitals to go the way of the dinosaur. Unwind them from your belly and throw them into the pit.”
“You want them?” I bare my teeth in a fierce grin. “YOU GOT THEM!”
I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A burst of acausal magic frees my twig n’ berries from their special load-bearing harness (it distributes my junk’s weight evenly across my body and prevents undue spinal injury). My genitals rear into the air, roaring in fury. Sections of hard-light-accented tech section across them, encasing my shaft in glimmering circuitry. Snerdbert’s face changes from smug satisfaction to ashen terror.
“OH GOD! THE COMING OF CYBER-DICK!”
He tries to flee, but Cyber-Dick coils around him, stopping him in his tracks. He beats the shaft with panicked fists, but to no available; the pee-slit engulfs his head and begins absorbing his essence. Within a matter of seconds, his entire body has been assimilated into another foot of techno-cock. I race up the stairs, whipping Cyber-Dick from side to side, like some kind of robot/cowboy/porn-star.
The adventures of Kent Wayne and Cyber-Dick continue! 😀
Is your shrivel-souled professor trying to usher you into an unholy cabal of number-crunching drone-minds? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book