“Whoa, easy fellas!”
The guns stay pointed right at my face.
“Where is it?” Professor Jerson asks in a terse, strained voice. “Where’d you put it?”
I keep my hands raised. “Look, novelty ain’t an easy thing to come by, you get me? You have to let your mind go into all kinds of dark and crazy places—”
Professor Renner scoffs. “Is that why you’re dressed like a 1920s gangster?” She pumps the action on her shotgun. “You think just because you’re wearing a zoot suit and fedora, that you’re something special?”
I flash her an easy grin. “Zoot suits weren’t invented until the 1930s, and this isn’t one of ’em. I enjoy looking stylish, doll.”
“Call me ‘doll’ again and I’ll turn your face into a bleeding asshole.”
“Like the one you get from working decades at this university, bleating meaningless platitudes to uncaring students while producing no original works of your own?” I start unbuttoning my jacket. Hammers cock back. “Whoa!” I raise my hands. “If you wanna see where I get my ideas, then I’m gonna have to take off some clothes; there’s an extra organ attached to my—”
Professor Jerson takes a step forward, pressing his pistol into my temple. “Just do it and quit fucking talking.”
“Easy, easy.” I unbutton my jacket, revealing the thick dick-print that extends up toward my chest and terminates a few inches past my belly button; it looks like I’m smuggling a can of pringles under my shirt.
Professor Renner’s face goes bright red. Her gun quivers in her hands as her eyes dart back and forth between my head and my…head. 😉
“Is that a…is that your…”
“Wipe the drool off your face, sweetie.”
“Fuck you.” Her eyes lock onto mine. I suppress a laugh as she slurps back saliva and gulps it down.
I continue undressing, down to my undershirt and briefs. Even though my penile harness keeps my member firmly in place, I hear someone in the back smack their lips and voice a breathy, “Mmm mmm MMM!”
“All right, here it comes.” I lock eyes with my gun-toting English professors. “You ready for it?” I part the slit in my underwear and pull out my bulging, tumescent ballsack. “Voila!” I announce. “I get my ideas from this magic bullfrog!”
(you KNOW they look like ribbiting frogs! Admit it!)
“Wait…what?” Professor Jerson stares at my giant balls, confusion playing through his eyes. “What are you—”
“He’s fucking with us!” Renner hisses. “WASTE HIM!”
I snap-roll right. Hundreds of rounds scream past me, tearing drywall into tattered, broken strips. Electrical wiring sparks and blazes. After a couple seconds, the overhead lights flicker and die. It doesn’t matter; as I dive behind a desk, I see my attackers slap next-gen optics onto their eyes. Four of them keep me pinned with a steady barrage, while the others maneuver to either side, getting ready to flank and rush me.
No options left. I reach into my dick harness and withdraw my eReader, opening it to Echo and activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A shining, mandala-threaded rip opens between me and my attackers, hovering a foot off the ground. Cybernetic velociraptors pile through its lip, equipped with various futuristic armaments. Their taloned hands hold everything from lightsabers and phasers to directed-energy gatling cannons. As they scan the room, bullets snap off their personal force-fields.
One of them, a badass-looking raptor with a glowing data-monocle affixed to his right eye, strides over to me and offers me a hand. “My name is Grimscar. Are you safe, Kent Wayne?”
I grasp his claw and rise to my feet. “I am, noble warrior. Just need to inflict the wrath of Odin on these clueless jerkoffs.”
He jerks his head toward his back. “Climb aboard. Do you require a weapon?”
I shake my head and grin. “I’ve got my own.”
I hop onto Grimscar’s back and he rears up on his hind legs, trumpeting in fury. As he does so, I whip my cock out and twirl it like a lasso, matching his roar with my own war-cry.
We run through our enemies, using tooth and claw, lightsaber and laser to mow them down. I’m whipping my dick from side to side like a meth’d up Indiana Jones, leaving dozens of mushroom stamps on lit nerds’ foreheads.
What’s the secret to tapping novelty? For starters, you need to entertain the idea of riding a cybernetic raptor-commando and using your genitals as a deadly weapon. 😉
Have literary snobs shit in your metaphorical cheerios, and are fervently urging you to join their unimaginative ranks? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle Echo Vol. 1 & 2 Combined Edition here: Combined Edition #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book