Hello my fellow sacks of plasm-and-bones who avidly entertain the notion of piloting pew-pew robots and harrying the not-so-benevolent plasm-sacks who would replace mountain dew with fine wines: this is just an afternoon reminder to grab yerselves a copy of Echo! Alas, there’s no mountain dew in Echo, but in an effort to correct this travesty, I’ve filled it with plenty o’ pew pew, hairy rowr-beasts, and lightning-comprised future wizards! And if you’ve read any of my work, please remember to leave a positive review for it on Amazon. It only takes a minute of your time, and you don’t need to have made a “verified purchase” in order to do it; you only need an Amazon account (in case you read my stuff through Kindle Unlimited or other means). To give you an idea of how craze-face amaze-balls positive Amazon reviews are to us indie authors, imagine this: you’re eating a nommy pizza on a park bench, when suddenly a sad, soul-dead Big Mac flies through the air and splats into the center of your pizza. The geiger counter app on your phone starts beeping, alerting you to the unholy wash of radiation pouring off the burger. Snortles and chuckles fill the air. You turn around to see where they’re coming from, and you spot a bunch of Ronald McDonalds. Finally—they have revealed their true nature, and shown themselves to be the deviant jerkoffs you always knew them to be.
(Fucking knew it!)
You dive left, transitioning into a fluid shoulder roll. At the same time, you click open a zippo and throw it towards the burger, just as the Ronalds pass by your bench.
The burger goes up in a blaze of radioactive energy, consuming the Ronalds in a dazzling wash of color. They run helter skelter, skin melting off their faces as they die by fire, just as all progenitors of shitty, 3 million-year half-life cheeseburgers SHOULD die. See, that extreme blast of joy you’d feel at seeing a bunch of molesty-looking clowns consumed by Big Mac-induced hellfire is EXACTLY what we indie authors feel when we get a positive review on Amazon! So do your favorite indie author (and perennial Man Child) Kent Wayne a super-sized favor and leave him a positive review on the ’Zons! Thank you all and have a Good and Chill Night!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂