“—and let us thank Batman for never developing super powers, so that we mere mortals may be forever inspired to train our intellects and physicalities to the point where we can stand alongside Kryptonians, Themyscirans, and Atlanteans, as well as hold our own against Darkseid’s dork-ass parademons. Amen.”
I look around at the rest of the Thanksgiving dinner table. “Let’s eat!” And I start heaping food onto my plate.
The rest of the assembled give me a long, weird look, then follow suit.
Thanksgiving is one of the few times that I meet with my Ex’s mother-in-law. She comes in with a steaming turkey fresh out of the oven, sets it down, and begins carving.
“So, Kent,” she ventures, “Are you finally ready to let go of this writing thing and focus on climbing the corporate ladder?”
I scoff through mashed potatoes. “Die slowly at happy hours and answer emails for hours on end during my weekends? Fat fucking chance.”
She stops carving and gives me a Disapproving Look. “You know, there’s a lot to be said about answering emails on weekends; I’ve written several open letters on the topic.”
Open letters. Kill me now.
“You would,” I mutter.
“What was that?” A “That’s Inappropriate” look flashes through her eyes.
“MMMM!” I exclaim, smacking my lips loudly. “This turkey tastes AMAZING! I can tell by the juicy flavor that you didn’t baste it with evil judgment or gut-wrenching hypocrisy! Delicious, I say!”
“Kent, do you realize that if you spent an extra 3 hours a day outside of work answering emails and going to office parties, your pay would increase by 11.53% over the span of thirty years and you’d stand a chance at being promoted to an executive position where you’d be given stock options? Think about it. You’re going to have kids one day and—”
She blithers on and on. This jerk is ruining Thanksgiving! I was looking forward to growing a giant food baby in mah belly and enjoying its birth whilst reading the latest graphic novels by comics supergod Scott Snyder, but now I’m gonna spend the rest of the night beating the crap out of the heavy bag, trying to exorcise my undying rage!
I open my eReader to Echo, activating its reality distortion powers. Magic flash.
A figure emerges from within the turkey. As it squirms and wriggles out from the meat, it grows and expands. In a matter of seconds, I find myself staring at a hideous, six foot tall Insectoid. Light gleams off its eight lidless eyes as it chitters and chirps. For a long moment, everyone is still.
The Insectoid begins mowing through guests, tearing apart limbs and viscera with busy, needling mandibles. People squirt out of the kitchen, their faces blurry with tears as the monster behind them shrieks and squawks. In the midst of the carnage, I see my Ex’s mother-in-law being split open from stem to stern.
One of the guests turns to me. In between close-to-hyperventilation gasps, he asks, “Should we save her?”
I slap him across the face. “Get ahold of yourself, man! There’s no saving her from the likes of that!” And I hustle him out the door.
We pile into cars and motor away. I wait until the sobbing and the “ohmygodohmygodohmygoddidyouseethatthingwhatjusthappened” dies down. I click my phone open, looking through my playlist for something appropriate that will fit the situation.
Is it wrong that I picked “Do You Believe in Magic?”
Perhaps you too need an evil Insectoid to tear through annoying Thanksgiving guests! Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book