I’m trying to hold it in.
“So I’d like to draw your attention to the bottom corner of this slide. You’ll see that we need to start building consensus by sticking to our core competencies and—”
I SWEAR I’m trying to hold it in.
“—and on this next slide, you’ll see that AllWorld Compliance really wants to move the needle; in order to do that we need to zero in on these early adopters. We’re a customer-centric business, people. That means that—”
But it’s coming.
“Collectively, I think we have enough bandwidth to leverage synergies and ride the next wave of paradigm shift. Don’t be risk averse. The last thing we need is to—”
There’s nothing I can do to stop it.
As the powerpoint presenter clicks to the next slide, that’s when it happens: my head pitches back, my eyes roll into my skull, and vomit explodes from my mouth like some kind of fucked up Willy Wonka chocolate fountain. A plaster of egg whites and half-digested salad rockets into the overhead bank of light, coating them in vile brown goo. Sharply dressed men and women erupt with screams—ululations of total fear and utter disgust. Torrents of barf splatter off the ceiling, causing the foulest of slimes to fly every which way. Due to the sheer gross-out factor, other people start vomiting as well. Our voices rise together into a horrendous chorus:
And just like that, in a matter of seconds, everyone is tossing their cookies. All triggered by the odious evil that emanates from a powerpoint.
Through tear-bleared eyes, I spot Sally from Marketing clutch her belly and lean over the conference table, barfing out an array of organs. Her skin turns blue and she goes limp, banging her head off the table’s edge before collapsing into a jumble of limbs. Mark from Accounts Receivable does the same, then John from HR follows suit.
Only one option left. I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash.
Am I dead? The world hazes over and I go unconscious again.
I come to a minute later.
No, I’m not dead—I’m floating.
My eyes blink open and I see that I’m in the confines of a bacta tank, just like Luke after getting jacked up by that crazy-ass Wampa. Robots are tending to blinking consoles, ensuring that my ravaged mind and body are receiving a full course of nutrients, and that my healing cascade is accelerated as much as possible.
I close my eyes and relax in the warm, amniotic fluid.
Dark Knight be praised—that was a close one. It’s a rare thing to survive an overdose of powerpoint.
Are you stuck in an office meeting where your mind, organs, and your very essence—the thing called the causal body by some and the soul by others, the very seed from which you spring—is being assaulted by the unending evil known as powerpoint? Never fear! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book