My name is Bitefighter.
The cats hiss, “See how he squirms and yelps! Bask in his misery!”
I am a 10 lb. Terrier Extraordinaire.
The cats hiss, “All we had to do was lure him with a bit of Meow Mix! What an idiot! What a moron!”
Never has so much “Fuck You” been contained in so small a body.
“You, a senior Bite Monk revered by dogs of all sizes, brought low by an elementary trap that any canid with a rudimentary level of training should be able to resist!”
I test the bonds that are wrapped around my tiny limbs. These whorebag felines have staked me out on San Francisco’s Ocean Beach. It’s a moonlit night, some time around 1 or 2 am, so no one’s here to save me. The tide is coming in, and in a matter of minutes, I’ll be choking on salt water.
“How do you like it, Bitefighter?” the lead cat (his name is Jasper, but I call him Jerkoff) yowls. “How do you like knowing that your last minutes on Earth will be courtesy of your own sadly predictable gluttony? Foolish dog!”
I try not to smile. Everything’s going according to plan.
Jerkoff turns to one of his slit-eyed cohorts and brays, “We knew exactly where he was going to be; our intel was fed to us by a faithless labrador named Bear. It didn’t take much to get this turncoat to sell out his oh-so-vaunted canine champion; all it cost was a few bites of Friskies!”
The cats burst out in laughter and my eyes tighten. I knew there was a traitor in our midst. Before I was captured, I’d narrowed it down to a dozen dogs, but now I know; Bear—you will pay a heavy penance for your crimes, you filthy, backstabbing Judas.
The tide touches the top of my furry little ears, and I close my eyes and lean my head back against the wet, cold sand. I can’t help but mentally replay the scene from Return of the Jedi (I’ve watched it like a billion times with my Two-legs pet Kent Wayne). The one where Luke is about to enter the Sarlacc pit and everyone thinks he’s gonna get fucked six ways from Sunday but then he unleashes a merciless hurricane of lightsaber justice. And just as the cats begin laughing and cawing in earnest, my plan comes together.
My best terrier buddy Muttocks comes running through their midst, an eReader clutched firmly in his jaws. He stops before me and opens it to Echo. Magic flash.
“RAAAAAHHHH!!!!” The fire of a thousand suns surge through my tiny limbs. With a brief flex of my forepaws, I snap my restraints. My haunches and skin start rippling outward, and I begin transforming into one of my future incarnations: no longer am I Bitefighter, 10 lb. Terrier Extraordinaire; I am now Bitefighter, cyborg velociraptor with gatling laser-guns for arms. I proceed to carve giant, smoking craters into the sand with an unceasing barrage of pewpewpewpewpewpkewpkewk’BOOM!
The cats run screaming in every direction, yowling and spitting as they scramble for cover. Muttocks charges alongside me, cheering me on, his tiny tongue wagging from his mouth. Half my dinosaur face is not composed of flesh, but a cybernetically-enhanced nanotech weave; subsequently, my left eye is no mere biological sense-organ, but a targeting computer that’s capable of processing a vast array of data. Green scrawls of information flicker down the left edge of my vision as I chase my enemies with hails of beam rounds.
When my enemies have fled and all that’s left is voluminous patches of burnt and blackened sand, I revert back to my original form.
I pump a tiny paw in the air.
“Yassssss bitch! Fives!” I hold my paw up and Muttocks claps it with his own.
“Is that it?” he asks. “Are we done here?”
I smile. “Well we’ve completed our plan to terrorize and embarrass these catnip-addled whorebags, but we still need to deal with the traitor known as Bear.”
As we trot off the beach, Muttocks curiously cocks his head at me. “What are you going to do to him?”
The grin widens on my face. “I am going to hump the living fuck out of his giant stupid face.”
I fight with bites! Terriers Eternus!
When it comes down to it, will you side with the low-down, dead-eyed, condescending mice-eaters? Or will you stand with the Good and True—those who cast allegiance to the future savior of all life and light that goes by the name of Bitefighter? You too can acquire the magic device that saved him from soggy death! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle #kindle #kindleunlimited #sciencefiction #scifi #books #novel #book