I’m stumbling away from a dollar theater, having lost all faith in humanity. That’s right—I just saw “Batman V Superman.” I feel like a giant, corn-riddled dooker just splattered right across my soul. I walk away from the theater, my lip quivering fiercely as I hold back tears of anger and frustration. Suddenly Zack Snyder appears before me, an evil grin sliced across his face. “Yeah, I did that on purpose,” he sneers then charges at me. I’m in no condition to fight—seeing the travesty of BvS has sapped my will and strength—and I gasp weakly as I fend off a barrage of punches and kicks. Out of sheer desperation, I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Chris Nolan appears in a crack of thunder and lightning, and whoa, he has a katana and wakizashi strapped to his waist. He strides forcefully up to Snyder, who’s now wearing an expression of sheer terror, and smacks Zack right across the kisser. With each word that Nolan speaks, he accentuates it with another smack. “HOW. DARE. YOU!!!” Zack is now on his knees, sobbing, hands held up before him. “Please,” he wails. “No more! The execs—the execs made me do it!” Nolan pauses, his left hand gripping Snyder by the shirt, his right hand raised behind him, ready to deliver another helping of lord-be-praised justice. Finally he lets go of Snyder, and Zack collapses in a heap. Nolan whispers, “You know what to do,” unsheathes his wakizashi, and places it before Snyder. Zack nods, and blubbers through his tears, “Thank you so much.” Snyder assumes the kneeling position, grasps the wakizashi, and plunges it into his abdomen. In a flicker of ultra-fast motion, Nolan whips out the katana and with a blood-curdling scream—KIIIIIII!!!!—lops off Snyder’s head. The last look I see on the decapitated director’s face is one of gratitude.
I know it was gruesome, but it had to be done. You know it, and I know it. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle