I’m on a date. I wipe my mouth with my napkin, excuse myself, and head towards the bathroom. I walk into the men’s room, my dress shoes echoing and clopping against the tile floor. After I do my business at the urinal, I turn around and see that I’m now hemmed in by a trio of handsome, smirking fellows, obviously all bodybuilders. One of them casually shoves my shoulder and says, “We were sent by your boss. He’s sick of you writing your stupid anti-corporate ads; we’re here to show your woman what a REAL man looks like.” Another shove. I’m wondering whether I’ve suddenly been teleported into a 1950s Charles Atlas ad. Well I ain’t no Jon Jones, but I’ve got a trick or two up my sleeve—I fake a one-two then come in low for a double-leg takedown, but asshole #1 stuffs the shot. I break away and say, “What the—” He smirks. “Yeah, that’s right—I’m huge, AND I can fight. What are you gonna do…Writer?” My eyes narrow in a Eastwood-worthy gaze, and I whisper under my breath, “Palamedes Publishing.” A handful of rice appears in my right hand and I conceal it behind my back. As the douchebag bodybuilders step closer, I fling the rice at them and they begin screaming in horror. “OH MY GOD! I’VE BEEN TOUCHED BY A CARB!!!” They begin writhing on the floor, clawing at their faces like they’ve just been hit by that shiz from Outbreak. I make my back to my table, grinning like I’ve just won the lottery.
One carb. That’s all it takes to freak the hell out of some of these OCD health nuts. Palamedes publishing: Check out their revolutionary Responsive Books software here: Responsive Books. Check out their short stories here: A Gathering Darkness They will soon offer Echo Volume 1 in paperback. For now, get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle