I’m piddling around a farm, rubbing the heads of various moo-cows (you know it’s more fun to call ’em that—don’t deny it) when clouds overtake the sun and darken the skies. What the hell? Suddenly the cows hunch over and begin shaking. I take slow steps backwards, my eyes wide and uncertain. Then I hear it too: That quiet, nearly imperceptible whir of the world’s worst Evil—a Powerpoint projector! Agony ripples through my brain, and I gasp as a burst of arterial-looking blood jets out from my nostrils. Through tear-watered vision I see the cows eyes light red. Coarse muscle sprouts from their back, jagged fangs spring from their gums. They begin charging toward me, no longer the benevolent moo-cow we all know and love; now they’ve got serious beef with me (I know: grooooooooaaaaaan. But I couldn’t resist!). I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. The WHUP-WHUP-WHUP of a helicopter consumes my hearing, and a second later Velociraptor commandos rappel down from an assault craft. Fangs meet talons as the V-raptors begin tearing into these mammoth monstrosities. One of the commandos scans the farm with enhanced optics and spots the unholy powerpoint projector that’s caused this heinousness. He throws a grenade at it—I hear a throaty FRAG OUT—and the V-raptors crouch and cover their ears. My ears pop as the explosion pressurizes my hearing for a brief second. When I look up, the moo-cows have reverted to their typically placid forms. The V-raptors tie themselves onto a line dropped by the chopper, then SPIE rig away. Their squad leader gives me the taloned equivalent of a thumbs-up. So cool!
Ever seen a moo-cow transformed by evil powerpoint radiation? It’s not pretty—kinda like watching Xenomorphs from aliens bust out a dude’s chest. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle