I’m walking past four cheerful dudes snapping their fingers, smiling, piping out: “How sweet it IS to be loved by you, by you by yoooouuuu…” Cool! Barbershop quartet! Always wanted to try that…I stop and listen for a bit. Suddenly, they rip off their pinstriped outfits and WHAT IN THE DARK KNIGHT??? They’re clad in a cheesy hodgepodge of stuff Elvira might’ve picked out from Hot Topic. Their hands blur to their faces; an instant later, scores of metal piercings are hanging off their shnozzes and ears. EMO-POETS!!! I pivot on my heel and I’m about to start running, when they begin slinging all manner of unnecessary verbiage at me, spoken in that overly loud voice that bad drama people use. The world goes hypnotically twisty—just like in Doctor Strange. I’m waving my hands for balance as the sidewalk ripples and undulates under my feet. Pedestrians begin morphing into evil, hunched little Gollum-things. The sun turns into a giant, red-pupiled eye. My ears are barraged by a poisonous combo of breakup stuff, premises that are completely devoid of common sense, and a whiny desire to brood and sulk. My throat bulges once, then I throw my head back and puke. In this psychedelic haze of reality, my vomit is as prodigious as an erupting volcano. BLAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! After a full minute I sink to my knees, wiping my mouth with the back of a trembling hand. Can’t afford to go through that again—I’ll barf out an organ. So I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Suddenly, I’m holding a metal can in my right hand, one that’s labeled: “ALL THAT IS MAN.” I peel off the top and throw it like a grenade at the Foul Four. It impacts by their feet, and a deluge of katanas, comic books, and kettlebells come flying out, bludgeoning and ripping at my attackers. They scream, throw their hands up, and morph into a flutter of crows, fleeing the scene as the world returns to normal.
That’s the new thing: Lure you in with some nice barbershop tunes, then WHAM! Suddenly you’re ears are bleeding from emo-drivel. Luckily, you too can defend yourself with an all-that-is-man grenade. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle