I sit down and open my laptop to plink out my daily word count, when I momentarily procrastinate (as all good writers will find themselves doing) and check out the latest news. Apparently, an international accord has been reached: for the first time, leading scientists have bred a Grammar Nazi with a Vegan and they’re currently monitoring its…my eyes widen and I slam my laptop shut. I run to my closet to get my apocalypse gear—basically just a small backpack filled with essentials and a pistol—but just as I’m slapping it on, an unholy screech rolls across the heavens. I draw the pistol, half-rack it to make sure I’ve got one in the pipe, and bring it tight to my chest. Lightning flashes, thunder crashes, and I see a bespectacled head come snaking around the corner. A long, reptilian neck stretches out behind it. I punch the gun out and start unloading, but the rounds only plink off the thing’s skin in sparking flashes. It rumbles laughter and says, “The few seconds I was in gestation I thought of YOU, Kent.” The rest of its cave-spiderish body comes crawling around the corner. It lifts one, pale extra-jointed set of fingers into the air and points at my face. “And now? Now you will SUFFER!” Lightning slices through the air as it rushes me. I stumble backward and open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Anthony Bourdain shoots down from the heavens like a sniper’s bullet. His feet crash directly through the abomination’s thorax, spilling insect-juice all across my apartment. He starts maowing down on the twitching remains of the beast before me, commenting on “notes in the flavor” and the “umami taste.” I shake my head in disbelief; he was JUST the right guy for this…have you seen his show? This dude eats everything!
If you’re ever assaulted by some unholy half-breed spawned from different factions of the Over-righteous, protect yourself with a dude who probably has, at one point or another, eaten every kind of meat. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle Vol. 3 on Kindle here: Vol. 3 on Kindle