Furries: Weird, a little gross, mostly harmless, right? Not these ones. The remnants of the US government has sent a team—comprised of researchers and tier 1 specops guys—into the dark heart of San Francisco to try and figure out what the hell has turned most of the nation into a savage, furry-filled wasteland (yep, got the idea from World War Z). There is no walking the streets anymore; the only way to go outdoors is to do so under the cover of night, and in most cases, firmly ensconced in armored mobility. As soon as our plane touches down, we’re instantly swarmed. I see a few of our guys fire back in a brief spatter of muzzle flashes before we’re overrun by an army of sweaty nerds in mascot-esque dress. They smell of twenty-sided dice, Magic the Gathering, and moms’ basements. I’m injected with something that makes the world go hazy, and before I pass out, I hear the agonized screams of dudes begging not to get yiffed. When I wake up, I find myself kneeling before a giant, Sauron-looking fella sitting on a throne of bleached-white skulls. “Who are you?” I whisper. His gauntleted hands raise to his head and lift off his helmet to reveal the face of…Grammar Nazi Prime! His chinless, bespectacled face leers at me from under a crown of wispy, receded hair. “How did you manage to corrupt an entire COUNTRY?” I ask. He answers, “With this.” He holds up a book that reads, “The Write Way to Right, by Grammar Nazi Prime.” (Ugh, a cheesy pun on top of it all). “You’re not the only one with a reality-distortion engine in the guise of book, Kent. This little beauty right here—” I’ve heard enough. I reach in my pocket and open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. An enchanted dagger appears in my hand and I throw it at G.N. Prime. Everything goes slo-mo; I watch it spin end-over-end, glittering in the sallow light of an infected world…then it knocks off G.N’s groin plate. The micro-phallus underneath isn’t just small; it’s an unholy negation of existence itself. That being the case, it morphs into a null-matter black hole and begins sucking everything into it. G.N. screams in rage and terror as he’s sucked into his own substance-less groin. His evil spell is broken. All across the world, furry nerds shed their costumes and go back to the time-honored tradition of secret, furtive masturbation.