Corporate outing at the waterpark. I’m relaxing in my inner tube, closing my eyes and enjoying the sunshine as I’m being bustled through one of the gentler rides, when suddenly I hear the rubbery squeak of another tube sidling up to my right. I look up and see Janice from Accounts Receivable. Another squeak to my left; it’s my boss. Suddenly I’m surrounded by my coworkers and they’re all smiling evilly at me. I wriggle my tube around, trying to free myself, but they’ve got me in trapped in their perfectly formed circle of mediocrity. “Well Kent,” my boss says. “Do you regret writing all those ads making fun of us?” Before I can speak he cuts me off. “You’re about to.” I don’t know what they’ve got planned but I’m not gonna wait to find out. I spear tackle my boss in a flying clothes-line and take us both under, barrel-rolling him. He taps like a bitch, I let go, then I stand up. Bad move. They’re waiting for me, coming at me with 100% testosterone-free war cries. Reflexively, I open my water-proofed phone to my eReader app, which, of course, opens to Echo. Magic flash. I plunge back in the water, and I hear Batman speak to me: “A ninja understands that invisibility is a matter of patience… and agility.” Instead of rising back up I relax and hold my breath, becoming one with the water. I hear my coworkers angrily shouting, asking where they’d last seen me, and then I strike. I yank down George from HR and punch him in the nuts. While he’s clutching his groin I shove him away, catch a breath, and go back under. “DID YOU SEE WHERE GEORGE WENT?” One of them screams. “GAME OVER MAN! GAME OVER!” I yank Herman from Marketing’s legs, tripping him, then pin him beneath me. His eyes go wide at my savage smile, and I double nerple him. He screams and lets his air out. I swim away and he flops onto the side of the ride, gasping and heaving. The rest I take down one by one, and make the Dark Knight proud.