Echo: A Dystopian Science Fiction Novel

“Do you believe…in the power of GRAMMAR?”  This question is asked as I’m being held down by ten Grammar Nazis, all staring at me in that dark, hypnotized way that Piggy must’ve gotten all the time in William Golding’s depressing-ass book.  The lead one is holding a poker, and its end is glowing bright cherry-red.  “I believe…” I whisper, and at this he leans close, eyes gleaming with interest.  “I believe…in the power of SQUATS!”  I spit in his face and he flinches, closes his eyes as if he’s just nobly restrained himself from viciously retaliating, and straightens up.  “Take off his pants,” he says brusquely.  “Bend him over.”  Operating on the premise that dickish behavior is caused by an unending streak of sexual repression (just get laid, you fools, geez!), I yell frantically, “You don’t have to do this!  Have you tried  eHarmony?  Tinder!  No, wait—” they yank my pants down and bend me over.  My eReader drops out of my pocket.  The lead Nazi yells, “You think I haven’t tried?  No woman will accept my heavily bespectacled, chinless face!  You with your talk of ninjas and lightsabers…YOU’RE THE PROBLEM!”  He rears back with the poker, and his foot brushes my eReader, opening it to Echo.  Magic flash.  Wonder Woman bursts into the Grammar Nazis’ midst, looks at my bum, nods brusquely and says, “A squatter.  Always appreciated.”  Then she starts beating Grammar Nazi ass.  They’re falling in droves, melodramatically spouting out tired-ass lines from tired-ass books that they have no hope of successfully reinterpreting into something imaginative ‘cos they have uptight, tired-ass minds.  Once she mows through them, she runs up to me as I’m hitching up my pants up and says, “Wait.”  I pause, curious, and she quickly drums my butt with both hands:  Slappaslapslap slapslap sla-PAP!  She grins and says, “Sorry.  Couldn’t resist.”  She launches herself in the air, blows me a kiss, and says, “Call me!”

When Grammar Nazis realize that they will never, EVER get a date, they will go straight-up psycho.  Be ready to defend yourself with your Justice Leaguer of choice.  Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here:  Vol. 1 on Kindle.  Vol. 2 on Kindle here:  Vol.2 on Kindle


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