I’m flying in one of the last few working airplanes over a devastated American landscape. “Look at that,” I murmur. It’s been six months since hipsters have activated their game-changing Obscurity Engine, a reality manipulation device that’s infected roughly 92% of the population with a hipster-zombie virus. The symptoms are loss of all muscle tone, desire to wear unneeded glasses, and compulsion to spew ill-thought, thinly veiled rationales for self indulgence in the form of an argument for greater societal benefit. Suddenly, someone in the plane yells, “THEY’RE ONBOARD! HELP! SOMEBODY—” I look back and see doofy, scarf-wearing hipsters chowing down on a woman and her child. People are screaming, trying to run but there’s nowhere to go. Bloody-mawed hipsters are popping up from the mob. I’m about to be trampled by a wave of horn-rimmed frames and look-at-me-I-dare-to-be-outdated clothing when I desperately fumble my eReader open to Echo. Magic flash. The back half of the plane breaks off and plunges toward the ground, spilling out ironically dressed figures. I’m holding onto the back of a seat, screaming my head off as what remains of the plane spirals through space. Dr. Strange appears beside me, grabs my hand, and traces arcane sigils into the air. A sparking portal opens before us. “WAIT!” I scream. “WHAT ABOUT THE REST OF HUMANITY???” His eyes darken with sadness and anger. “Some evils are too powerful to fight,” he replies. He pulls us both through the portal and saves us both from a world without squats or hill sprints.
Someday, we may reclaim what remains of Hipster World. Until then, always have an interdimensional escape ready to go. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle