I’m walking my 10 lb. terrier Bitefighter through the park, when I chance on a soccer game. The soccer moms in the stands are hooting and hollering, bumping chests (okay kinda hot), head-butting each other, and yelling in demonically bass voices. They see me walking by, and caught up in their suburban fury, throw quinoa and steamed bok choy at my face. “Hey!” I yell. “HEY!” I scream as Bitefighter gets hit and lets out a whimper. Screw this. I unleash Bitefighter and we tear onto the field, stealing the soccer ball. My little buddy has a huge smile on and he’s panting as we pass the ball back and forth. Suddenly, shadows darken the ground. I look up and see that the soccer moms have become HARPY moms; they’ve sprouted horns and bat-wings, and are spitting char-colored balls of fire at me. Bitefighter and I are running like the dickens, when one of the missiles lands close, explodes, and sends us flying. We crumple in a smoking heap. Dazed, barely able to breathe, I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Facsimiles of shirtless soccer mom crushes—Hugh Jackman, Josh Groban, George Clooney—burst into existence and scatter in all directions. The harpies, unable to help themselves, swoop toward these carefully crafted corporate heart throbs, but once they reach them, the men explode in a blast of quantum brilliance. In the chaos, me and Bitefighter make our escape.
Soccer moms are like monkeys. Yeah, they’re innocent looking enough, but get on their wrong side and they will kick your ass. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle