My Ex is running after me, blasts of hurricane force jetting from her lips. She’s taken my money, my stuff, damn near my sanity…now she wants my loyal 10 lb. terrier-buddy Bitefighter. Me and Bitefighter are scrambling through the streets, wide-eyed, gasping for air. “DOWN!” I yell, covering Bitefighter with my torso. The Ex lets loose with a hate-filled gale, and a car barrel-rolls through the air, narrowly missing our heads. Bitefighter whimpers into my chest and I snatch him up and keep running. Wait, what’s that shining in the air…Angels! They’re beckoning me, telling me to party with them, that it’s just like that movie This Is The End, but they’re too far up. Desperately, I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. A giant trampoline appears in the middle of the street. I streak toward it, lungs burning, legs jellying, and leap on. The mesh stretches, tightens….BOI-OI-OING! I’m flying upward. I high-five an angel that’s the exact facsimile of Chuck Norris and we vanish into an empyrean paradise. I take a brief look around, and all is as it should be: rows of unused squat racks, stacks of comics, ninja masks, katanas, and laser guns. I ask the Chuck-angel, “She can’t follow us up here?” Chuck smiles. “No,” he replies. “The Azure Gates are guarded by the finest of our warriors for the express purpose of keeping her out. It’ll take a few lifetimes before she gets to even peek in here.” I sigh in relief. “Wanna play with some lasers?” he asks. “Hell yeah!” I reply. We high-five and engage in the best pkew-pkew ever. Off to the side, Bitefighter is in a giant dog-mech, chasing legions of snobby cats with micro-missiles and ion repeaters.