Some evil wizard has apparently figured out how to fuse vegan-evangelists and grammar nazis and—no surprise—the result of this evil wizardry is a dog-sized tarantula with the head of a bespectacled nerd. They’re coming at me en masse, hissing and spitting a stream of self-righteous venom. I have nowhere to run, so I jump on a tree—HUP!—and begin shimmying up. I’m clinging precariously to the uppermost part of the tree, swaying in the breeze, when I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. A squat rack appears in the air. A parachute bursts from its crosspiece and slows its fall. I lean back, then forward—extending the treetop toward the rack—and leap. I hop on the rack and follow it to the ground. I immediately start repping out squats, and dazzling Batman symbols crackle through the air, spinning and whirling around me. The vortex of energy builds to a peak, and on the peak of my next rep, I open my mouth and gaze at the sky. Fifth Element style energy explodes from me and washes outward, disintegrating the tarantulas in a blaze of radiance. Nothing can stand up to a Batsymbol-laden squat rack. Absolutely nothing.