Writing snobs have taken over the world. I’m being rolled through the streets in stockades, like William F’in Wallace. An angry, bespectacled academic waves a red pen at me, shouting and screaming about proper grammar. Others are clicking their staplers, showering me with staples, howling about how the proper staple should be set one inch from the border of the paper at a 45 degree angle. In the crowd, I see my loyal 10 lb. terrier, Bitefighter, charging toward me with my eReader. He spits it out and it opens to Echo. Magic flash. The streets begin booming with giant footsteps. I turn my head to the side and see a giant, Stay Puft Hemingway trundling through the skyline. He turns his massive, mustachioed head to either side and roars, “HEM-ING-WAY!” Writing snobs run to him, creaming their pants, tearfully requesting he read their manuscripts. He looks down, his face twists in disgust, and he squishes the first bunch with a giant foot. Guts and bones crunch together, mingling into a stew of mashed geek-dom. The rest of the snobs turn and run, screaming in terror. He laughs evilly, “HO HO HO! FILTHY NERDS!” He reaches down, grabs a handful, and begins maowing ’em down. I’m being splashed by brains and innards, and I’m laughing my ass off.
There will be a time when stick-up-the-butt idiots put you in stockades. When that time comes, be ready. HEM-ING-WAY. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle