I’m sitting down for a Thanksgiving—got all those delicious, colon-bursting accoutrements in front of me—when suddenly, my tween niece begins playing some Bieber on her iPhone. The turkey begins twitching, ripples with scales, and sprouts an ugly, bloody baby head from between its wings. Baby-head bares its fangs and screams, “WITNESS THE RISE OF KAEL IK’THAKTO, GIVEN BIRTH INTO THIS WORLD BY YOUR UNHOLY MUSIC!” My niece screams, falling backward in her chair. Baby-head lurches forward, its neck growing three feet in less than a second, and tears a bloody chunk out of my mother-in-law’s face (okay, she deserved it, but still gross). HOLY F’IN’ BALLS! Open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Space Marines rappel through the ceiling, punching crumbly holes through the roof, and begin unloading on the turkey. Baby-head is screaming in rage, but the ordnance keeps coming, and eventually, nothing is left but a blackened husk. A Space Marine sergeant ushers us out and we hear “Frag out!” as they stuff the turkey with four or five grenades. One big boom later, Thanksgiving has been saved.
2.3% of all Thanksgivings are ruined by demonic baby-heads erupting from the turkey. Don’t let it happen to you. Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle.