Writing at Starbucks. I see a group of my English professors a table away, glaring at me, pissed and jealous that the only thing they can churn out is an essay about the socioeconomic political significance of what-have-you. I take a sip from my coffee, humming to myself, when a shadow looms over my keyboard. WTF? I hear one of my professors growl, “Tonight we dine in Hell.” Then a hand grabs the back of my head and rebounds it off the table. I’m seeing stars. Normally I’d mop the floor with this dickhead but he caught me by surprise. In between flashes of pasty white fists I glimpse raging, Gollum-crazy eyes that are set behind coke-bottle thick lenses. My face is getting pummeled by a storm of puny strikes; normally laughable but there’s…So….Many….I open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. Hemingway, Thomas Malory, and Arthur Conan Doyle materialize behind them, raising their hands in old-timey boxing stances and beating the piss out of the nerd-horde. I add a dash of modern flavor: nutpunches, a few nerples, and the classic Three Stooges Eye-poke. The academics quickly crumple, trying to profess their love of these great authors, but they’re not hearing it. Hemingway takes a swig from a flask. “You think any real author would sit around and pleasure his man-parts over an ESSAY???” He lifts a fellow by the lapels and breaks the man’s jaw with a classic American haymaker. “You unbearable cads!” He tosses me his flask and I take a long draught of whiskey. I grow a thick pelt of chest-hair and mountain-man muscles. Ah….that’s the stuff!
Essays? GTFO! Remember those crazy-ass authors that INSPIRED essays! Get Echo Vol. 1 on Kindle here: Vol. 1 on Kindle. Vol. 2 on Kindle here: Vol.2 on Kindle. Links for Vol.2 on Smashwords/Nook/iBooks/Kobo are available here: Echo on other platform