Okay. I’ve done my work for Echo for today, and I need a little creative levity. Here’s the intro page to my upcoming work, The Adventures of Gul’Thak: Barbarian Valley Girl:
Dear Diary: O. M. G. Today I got voted captain of the cheerleading squad! I had to arrange an “accident” with our current captain, Liz Johnson, where I convinced a few of my squadmates to “drop” her on a stunt. Tee hee! She was slurring her words…her eyes were rolling back in her head…Happy brain trauma, bitch! Yay! Go Holly!
—From the journal of Holly Dent, sophomore at Atherton High.
Today we killed hundreds, and freed thousands. We marched against Korshank, a warlord of the Elderean Kingdom, a land that has long been in the grip of tyranny. It was a narrow victory, bloody and glorious. Our ranks were scattered by a volley of barbed arrows, and while we Wintermore Barbarians may have possess the stoutest of hearts, those hearts must be channeled through a strong mind and an iron fist. Gul’Thak is that mind. Gul’Thak is that fist. Amidst a rain of wicked steel, he rallied his captains and we men of the Reptrix Cavalry Division charged the warlord’s armies, breaking their spine and freeing their thralls. No one is stronger than Gul’Thak.
—From the Ballad of Gul’Thak, Barbarian King, as recounted by Krul’Dar, in the fifth age of Iluvia.