INTERNET ELITISTS! Feeling the need to come at me with insane, dick-punching fury ‘cos I’m happy doing my thing! They’re closing in on me in a NY alleyway, just like in those gloriously cheesy ’80s movies. I hear the eager smacking of fists and nasal wheezing. I witness a slow-converging sea of pasty, pimple-pocked skin, coke-bottle thick glasses, and? A huge pair of pit-stains marking each tee-shirt. Open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. A huge poster appears of…the Forty-year Old Virgin with Steve Carrell? Suddenly the irony of their supposed superiority washes over them with breathtaking clarity, and they drop to their knees, sobbing. I make a scramble out of the alley, and for no reason whatsoever, a saddled dinosaur is waiting to help me escape. I jump on and charge down the streets, grinning like a fool as I drink in the Big Apple like I always wanted to: From the back of a charging velociraptor.