Company outing at a go-kart rink. The boss and four of his sniveling cohorts are ganging up on the rest of us, driving in formation and slamming people against the wall. “OH!” My boss shouts as he sends a worker spinning, “THAT’S for calling in sick last week!” Now they’re closing in on me. “You’re next, Kent!” Boss Mcdouchey’s corporate-issue mild-mannered face has gone full-on Lord of the Flies. I mutter under my breath, “Not a chance, dickbag.” Open my eReader. Magic flash. My go-kart sprouts sleek, chrome jet thrusters from the back end and blasts away in a delicious burn. I hear him yell in confusion, “What the—” before I spin around in a perfect J-turn. My teeth clench in harsh delight as I say, “Activate hard-light lance.” Two projections of transparent green sprout from the front of my vehicle. I speed toward my pursuers and now they’re jumping from their karts, screaming in panic. My energy lances blow through their karts, and I’m trailed by the hot blast of exploding machinery. Best company outing ever.