Uh-oh, I’ve run afoul of the Venerators of Mac: Slavering Mac fanatics who’ll persecute you for not having the latest up to date iPhone or if you say one word that is not utterly devotional to All That is Mac. I happen to still have an iPhone 5: Yup, that makes me scum in their eyes. I’m being pushed and shouldered. They’re laughing and pointing at my phone as if it were a micro-phallus. “Kent’s a cave-dweller! Go back to your horse and buggy, you primitive simpleton!” I clench my teeth. Open my eReader to Echo. Magic flash. A spiked bat and a leather sap appear in my hands. In a gravelly voice I utter, “Don’t mind if I do.” I start laying waste to a legion of tech-snobs. Each one that dies under my blows whispers something about how they wished they had more muscle tone.