I’ve gained 90 lbs of fat in a week. Nervously sweating scientists monitor me as twinkie-solution and KFC breading intravenously flow into my veins. Just to give you an idea: I’m getting rolls around my fingernails. Scientist gets even more nervous. He says, “3…2…1…Initiate.” He opens an eReader to Echo. Bright flash. Suddenly I’ve lost the weight. And? I’m ripped. I do a Captain America and stare wonderingly into the mirror. The experiment’s a success.